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Tag Archives: being present

Losing a friend

Chantal Mills No Comments

It’s something that I am dreading: losing my dog Everest. This picture of him running on the beach was taken this past summer. He is on the cusp of 13 and that number both makes me happy (wow! 13! and he looks so good!!), and filled with dread (13! Where did the time go? Please live forever!).

I’m sure I’m not the only one who has spent time thinking about their dog passing. How will it happen, when will it happen, will we have him cremated… oh taxidermy is a bit too out there for me… but what about a sprinkle of his ashes in a paperweight? I’ve had all of these thoughts.

I remember having similar thoughts when Hemingway, our Great Dane, was still alive. I would think about what I’d do if I came home and this 160 lb dog was lifeless in the living room. Or, I’d try to figure out how I would get him into the car by myself if ever there was an emergency. Some may call these thoughts morbid, and I can’t disagree. I concluded that these thoughts were my way  of mentally  preparing for the unbearable, inevitable loss. I felt that if I mentally prepared myself, then it wouldn’t be as unbearable.

For Hemi, that day came in August of 2016. It was a Truly Terrible Day. Leaving the animal hospital with a leash and collar was devastating. Matt and I turned to each other and hugged and cried for a long time. Then, we got into our car and drove home. When asked how many dogs we have, our son still says we have 2 dogs – 1 is in heaven. I miss Hemi, and all of the dogs with whom I’ve had the honour of sharing my life.

The deep sadness of those losses is gone and I can now focus on the joy they brought, the quirks they had, the bad habits they had and the things I’ve learned thanks to them. The biggest lesson learned was that those moments spent thinking those morbid thoughts to mentally preparing myself did not make it any easier when that Terrible Day came. All it really did was steal time I could have spent enjoying the present.

These day, I am trying to be more like a dog. Everest is enjoying the moment, enjoying his life, relishing the time spent with us. What a shame it would be if, instead of also basking in the present, I were going through a series of morbid scenarios in the name of preparation. Nope. Thanks to Hemi, I’ve learned that it’s going to be a Truly Terrible Day, but time is better spent  LIVING IN THE MOMENT.

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KOLO 8 News Now’s Amanda Sanchez shared this image of her friend Ashley spreading her dog Wagner’s ashes over their favorite dog park. I love this picture. It makes me believe that the Rainbow Bridge is real and that losing a friend sometimes means setting them free to play for ever.blogashesdog

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